Planning the perfect proposal for your partner can be a nerve-racking process. One man vented on Reddit that his fiancée made it even harder because she has an issue “ceding control to other people planning special occasions.”
“So when she caught wind that I had booked a 24 hour sitter, had booked a five-star hotel, and made some events and dinner reservations, she began inquiring about my proposal plans. When I asked her to trust me since I put a lot of thought into it, she told me she expected me to ‘mess it up.’ She eventually apologized for this,” he wrote via Reddit.
The man explained he originally had other plans, but their 22-month old daughter got “pink eye,” so he had to scramble and move the planned proposal to the following weekend.
“After we got to the hotel and enjoyed the digs, I found us a very nice restaurant to eat and drink and we went on our way,” he wrote, noting he wanted to take her to a “part of town that she had always loved.”
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The woman had different plans, though, telling him she “didn’t want to make the trek there” and would prefer to go to the “nearby beachfront instead.”
“I said that was OK, even I had to swallow her proclivity to take control of certain situations. At the beachfront, I got on one knee and nervously proposed. I am by default a very anxious and nervous person, so the entire time I was shaking and sort of laughing,” he recalled.
“After I was done with the proposal, she said she was hoping I was a bit more serious and asked me to name more reasons why I wanted to marry her. We spent the whole night talking about what we love about each other and everything seemed fine,” he continued.
However, the man was devastated when “out of the blue” his fiancée made a “very passive aggressive comment” about his proposal.
“I became very emotional and admitted that it was really tough planning this thing, especially with her having said that she expected me to fail a month prior. She said I was blowing my feelings out of proportion. When I asked her whether she feels bad for telling me that she expected me to ‘screw up’ and didn’t see that I tried really hard – especially with having to move everything a week after it was originally planned – she said ‘no because you proved me right.’ I stormed out,” he detailed.
Now the man is wondering if he “really did mess up” or if his fiancée is “failing” so see his “frustrations.”
In the comments section, Reddit users tried to support the man, but many suggested he reconsider marrying the woman.
“Are you sure you want to marry someone who belittles and disrespects you like this?” one person wrote.
“Why do you want to spend the rest of your life with this person? Sounds like no matter what you do, you will always fail in their eyes,” another commented.
“Good grief, she’s such an [a–hole] for saying that. How would she not know that you were nervous laughing after being with you for so long. You need to sit her down and talk that out because being in a long term relationship with someone who has little to no regard for your feelings will just end up in a train wreck,” someone else chimed in.