A 22-year-old woman on Reddit was devastated after discovering her 35-year-old boyfriend of eight months had a secret wife and child.
“I always had this gut feeling that he was keeping something from me,” she shared.
“A few weeks back, I broke up with my boyfriend because he was hiding something on his phone. I didn’t know what it was but I thought since he preferred to break up than to show me it’s better to walk away,” the woman wrote.
A few days ago, he dropped a “bombshell” on her: “Turns out what he was hiding was his messages with his wife. He’s got a wife and a kid this whole time, the same kid he told me was his nephew.”
Her boyfriend claimed he and his wife only stayed together “for the sake of the kid,” and that they barely talk.
“He said the only reason he didn’t tell me when we were together is because when we first started dating he wasn’t serious but he fell in love and he didn’t see that coming. And that ever since he wanted to tell me but he was scared I would leave him if I knew. He’s saying that all the love and promises were real. But what’s the point if they were built on a fake base? I was crushed, seriously cried and yelled,” she continued on Reddit.
After breaking up with him, the woman’s ex boldly asked if he could be her support system to help her “heal.”
“Quick context, I recently escaped an abusive family situation in my home country and met this guy after, and he was the only person I allowed into my vulnerable world. He is my sole source of support in this foreign land. Considering my circumstances being alone in this foreign country, he proposes that we continue in touch as family to help me establish a new support system,” she detailed.
He claimed they could create “clear boundaries,” but she is uncertain if she should proceed as he is a “narcissist.” “Despite my desire to forgive him, my heart is weighed down by pain and anger, making it difficult to let go and heal,” she concluded.
Users in the comments section offered their advice to the woman.
“This 35-year-old man does not love you. You were a side piece that he was using for sex because he knows that you are young, naïve, and easy to manipulate and that is exactly what he is doing. He is a liar, and a cheater, and a manipulator, and he will say and do whatever he can to keep doing this to you. You need to get him out of your life fully and completely,” one person wrote.
“He just doesn’t want you to tell his wife. He doesn’t care about you or how he hurt you, he just doesn’t want to face any consequences for his actions. Everything he has told you is a lie. He doesn’t want to help you, he just wants sex. You only have two options here: cut contact completely or tell his wife and cut contact completely,” another user commented.
“How is the person that lied to and manipulated you also supposed to be the person to help you heal? Really consider how someone that would do that to you genuinely wants to support and help you in any way. All this is, is another attempt to manipulate you, mostly so you won’t find his wife and tell her. Don’t let him do that,” someone else advised.
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