A man on Reddit is torn after he asked his long-term girlfriend to clean their apartment “100 percent” because he works so much and is “burnt out.”
“My [girlfriend] and I live together in a major city to share costs. I only mention this as to provide some information about how much rent costs. While we were both working, I paid 60 [percent] of the rent and she paid 40 [percent], with the agreement that I would pay for all dates because I make 30 [percent] more than she does,” he began his post.
“My [girlfriend] has felt depressed with her career choice, so I suggested that she quit her job and take some classes to gain certifications in a career she would like more. I agreed to pay rent/utilities as well as pay for her classes and give her some spending money ($300 a month),” the man continued.
For the last six months, the man has clocked in at 60+ hours each week so he can support them both.
“I’m lucky in that I work at a good job, so I can eat breakfast, lunch and dinner for free at work. I’ve also worked on additional projects so that I can work more hours in order to support the both of us on my salary alone … When we were both working, we split chores 50/50. However, I find myself burning out during the week and unable to clean, and on the weekends she wants to spend Saturday on dates, with us cleaning on Sunday together,” he shared.
When the man asked his girlfriend if she could clean “100 percent” of the apartment so he can find some time to rest and see friends, they got into an argument.
“We got into a bit of a row because I said that I’m dying and I need a day (Sunday) where I can just be alone or do something with my friends. She said she appreciates my help with her career change, but that since we both live in the apartment, we should both clean,” he explained.
“I don’t think it’s fair since she’s home much more than I am, and I make almost zero mess because I spend 60+ hours a week at work. She said just living in the house creates a mess, and I should help clean it,” the frustrated man concluded.
Many people in the comments section appeared to agree with the man.
“So she’s happy for you to work a 60-hour work[week] so that she can study and you can support her, but also wants you to do housework? No,” one user wrote.
“I would say she should do 100 [percent] of daily tasks while you take Sundays off and you should help out one Sunday a month with deep cleaning so it wouldn’t be unfair to her either,” another person mediated.
“How much time is she spending on schoolwork? I’m going to guess it’s dramatically less than 60 hours/week. It’s not about the financial contribution but the time difference in what you’re doing. I think you doing nothing around the house isn’t fair (as in you should pick up after yourself rather than leaving a mess for her to clean up), but definitely the bulk should fall to her. And having a day to yourself is also totally reasonable,” someone else commented.
“You are paying all bills, etc., and ensuring she has the ability to start a new career. She definitely should be responsible for all housework, etc.,” another weighed in.