7.
“I was the world’s worst waitress, and I think these are my top three worst moments. First, I’d just given a lovely couple their meals and gone to get them another round of drinks. As I approached them, I lost control of the tray, and both glasses went flying, landed on their table, and smashed all over them and their meals. I don’t think I’ve ever apologized profusely in my life! Second, I was carrying two bowls of soup on a silver tray. The restaurant layout was such that you walked through the main restaurant, out to the bar, turned into a corridor where the front door was, and then went upstairs to the table I was taking the soup to. I was so paranoid about spilling the soup that I was just staring at the bowls. I missed the fact I needed to turn a corner to head up the stairs and walked straight into a wall; not only did both bowls of soup go all over me, but I walked so fast into the wall that I smashed my face on it and gave myself a nosebleed!”
“I knew I looked an absolute show, covered in soup and blood, so the only thing I could think to do was walk out the front door to avoid the main dining room! I went around the building to the back gate that was locked and had to pound for several minutes until my boss opened up and just laughed his arse off at the state of me.
Lastly, I managed to spray cream all over myself (I was wearing all black, too), the walls, and the floor of this private dining room. Luckily, none of the customers were hit, but they were howling at my incredible clumsiness. How I was never fired is beyond me. I think they kept me around for the comedy value.”