A woman on Reddit shared that she declined her stepson’s request to dance with her at his wedding because she doesn’t really view him as her son.
“My husband has a son from a high school relationship. I’ve been married to my husband for 10 years. I get along well with his son but I’ve never really viewed him as my stepson due to our ages: I’m 37 and he’s 28. As I stated, we do get along and I have helped him with issues in the past by listening, giving advice when asked, giving support, helping him talk to his father, and stuff like that. More like a friend than a mother figure. For as long as I’ve been involved with my husband, his son has had minimal involvement with his mother,” she wrote.
“His wedding is in a few months. I couldn’t be happier for him and his fiancée. He and my husband were discussing the wedding over the weekend. His fiancée will be doing a father/daughter dance and he asked me to do a mother/son dance with him,” the woman continued on Reddit.
She explained that at first, she wasn’t expecting him to ask her to participate in something like that, as she feels they “don’t have that kind of relationship and I was unaware he saw it otherwise.”
“I declined by saying I was honored he’d ask but that I thought it might be inappropriate and suggested that he could try asking his grandmother. He seemed to accept my answer but came off neutral over it. Last night my husband brought it up again and said he was a bit disappointed in me and that his son is pretty hurt by it but neither wants to push the issue,” she detailed.
The woman noted she feels bad that her stepson is upset, but still maintains it would “be inappropriate to do the dance because I’m not his mother.”
“I’ve never had a maternal role in his life. Am I missing something here or was I in the wrong for declining to do the dance?” she concluded.
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Users in the comments section slammed the woman for not accepting her stepson’s thoughtful gesture.
“It’s a dance that clearly means something to him, despite you not thinking of him as your son, he sees you as his mother,” one person wrote.
“He wants to honor the role you have in his life. I don’t understand why it would be ‘inappropriate.’ It doesn’t even have to be announced as a mother/son dance. Just dance with the guy,” someone else chimed in.
“It’s just a f—ing dance, and you basically chose to damage your relationship because you are offended by an implied title. I have the feeling this is about the ages involved and you not wanting to appear old enough to be his bio mom, rather than the quality of your relationship, but … problem solved. He definitely won’t be leaning on you in the future,” another commented.
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