A woman on Reddit is being slammed online as “ableist” and “bigoted” after admitting she asked her stepson to “hide his disability” because it’s “unsettling.”
The woman is married to and has a 5-year-old son, Mike, with a man who has two children from former marriages. One of those sons, 17-year-old Milo, often stays with them.
“Two years ago Milo was in an accident and he had to have his eye removed. He refuses to wear a fake one or an eye patch for some reason and just has it covered with his hair,” she began.
“Please don’t get me wrong. I feel bad for Milo because of his disability and I have been nothing but accommodating to his needs. However, it is quite an unsettling sight. His eye doesn’t close fully and it creates the illusion that he is constantly staring/watching us,” she continued.
“It has been a problem for Mike especially. He often gets scared because he thinks Milo is watching him even when he doesn’t,” she explained, adding that Mike recently had a “meltdown” over it.
“My husband politely took Milo aside and explained that Mike is scared of his empty eye and that he should cover it up when he comes over. Milo was very upset and complained to his mother,” the woman shared.
“Milo complained to his older brother too. The brother called my husband and screamed at him. He said that we are failing Milo. We tried to explain that Mike is afraid of Milo and he is very sensitive, he has nightmares about Milo watching him in the sleep. He called us both a–holes. Milo said we are a–holes too,” she added.
Now, the woman feels “bad” for upsetting Milo.
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In the comments section, readers slammed the woman for teaching her young son a bad lesson and for making her stepson feel even more ostracized.
“Mike feeling uncomfortable about Milo’s disability is Mike’s problem, not Milo’s. Milo does not need to hide his disability to coddle other peoples’ feelings. He should not have to feel ashamed of it. This should be a teaching moment for Mike,” one person wrote.
“Sometimes disabilities are disturbing. That’s a reality of life and you can’t ask people to hide them for convenience. If it were something else than an eye, and little Mike were disturbed by, I don’t know, a missing arm, how far would you go into telling Milo to hide his body ? In this case, you’re asking a teenager to hide his entire face more than he already does behind his hair. In his own home,” another weighed in.
“You and your son are the ones who are being inappropriate. At your son’s age, his behavior isn’t surprising. But you are failing to teach your child important skills, not least of which is to never treat his brother (or any other disabled person) like a freak or monster. The word for telling a disabled person to go away unless they hide their disability is ‘ableism.’ Your behavior is bigoted, and you are teaching your child to do the same. Apologize to everyone and fix the problem where it actually lies: your biases and your son’s confusion,” someone else advised.
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