An “openly bisexual” man caused quite a stir on Reddit after sharing that his sister is furious with him for sending “lewd” texts to her father-in-law.
“My sister (28f) got married in late April. I (25m) have been hanging out with her father in law, Thomas (mid 40s), ever since,” he wrote. “It’s not like we’re seeing each other on the daily, just every other weekend or so. We grab drinks or just hang out at his home, nothing nefarious. Still, I’ve never brought it up to my sister because it never came up.”
He continued on Reddit, “Last night, we were hanging out like we usually do. I’m typically in charge of playing music for us and cyber sex by Doja Cat came on the playlist I had queued up. Thomas was amused by the lyrics and was asking me where I found the song, it was a funny moment. We moved on, I left after a while.”
The next morning he texted the man with a “link to the song as a joke.”
“Turns out my sister and her husband were visiting at this point and my [brother-in-law] was in the middle of looking at something on Thomas’ phone when the message came through,” he recalled. “Apparently it caused a huge stir and resulted in [my brother-in-law] confronting his father about the whole thing.”
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His sister called him and confronted him about sending “lewd messages” to her father-in-law and wanted to know why they were “hanging out.”
“I tried to explain the situation like I did here, that he and I grab drinks and catch up occasionally after finding things in common during her wedding weekend but it hasn’t gone well,” he added. “I’m starting to feel guilty about the whole thing because she said I was interfering with her married life. I’m lost.”
The man’s post was met with mixed reactions.
“Something’s not adding up here. I don’t buy the fact that you and your new BFF who is 20 years older are just hanging out, drinking beers and listening to Doja Cat. Either you’re leaving something out, or FIL is up to no good. It’s not unusual to have friends of different ages, but you are literally a generation apart. Your sister is right to be suspicious,” one person wrote.
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Another commented, “This is incredibly inappropriate and disrespectful to your sister and [brother-in-law]. You need to learn to be less self-serving and learn some boundaries as well.”
“Your sister and her husband have every reason to think something would be going on. That said, I don’t think you’re the a–hole. He’s single, you’re fun….go do what single people with stuff in common do,” another person said.
A fourth person chimed in, “You can flirt with whomever you want, if it is consensual. But they are also not a–holes for being upset about the unusual family dynamics this could affect (you could end up being your sister’s stepfather-in-law) and the perceived shadiness of not disclosing the relationship. But I do caution you to think about the potential fallout from pursuing a relationship with him if it goes beyond the boundaries of friendship. It may not affect her marriage, per se, but extended family dynamics can fall under ‘married life’ because in law stuff is definitely a part of being married.”