A man on Reddit cancelled his vacation plans with his wife after she spent her budget to help her adult son and ex-husband get their car out of impound.
Sharing his situation on the popular forum, the man explained he and his wife, who makes less money than he does, split their expenses 70/30 and book vacations based on “what she can afford.” That said, he will often pay for their vacations himself to make sure he and his wife go on nice trips.
Recently, however, he was forced to cancel a planned vacation after his wife spent her vacation budget to bail her adult son, 23, and ex-husband out financially, something that has become a recurring problem in their relationship.
“Every few months, they’ll call her for a few hundred dollars here, a few hundred there, 20 bucks this week, 80 the next. Sometimes it’s her son calling for help. Sometimes it’s her ex-husband. This has caused her to be short on funds for our plans or things she volunteered to cover on more than one occasion,” the man wrote on Reddit.
According to his wife, she helps her ex because “their son still lives with him,” so her ex’s finances impacts her son’s life, too.
When her son and ex recently found themselves in another financial bind after their car was impounded, she emptied her vacation fund to get their car out of impound and get them caught up on rent payments.
“Their son hasn’t been able to get to work without the car because he doesn’t want to ride a bike or take a bus. Almost [$5,000] later, they’re set up, but my wife told me she can’t pay for her portion of our vacation, so I told her I was canceling it,” the man explained.
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His wife was furious and called him “heartless.” Now, the couple are at odds.
“We’ve been arguing over it, but my stance is this: they’re both able-bodied adults that keep making a series of life decisions that keep them at a standstill (like quitting jobs over little things, smoking, going out), and her always digging them out of their hole is starting to impact our lives more and more, and I didn’t sign up for that,” the man concluded.
Reddit users in the comments section backed the man’s decision to cancel his vacation and encouraged him to talk to his wife about enabling her ex and her son.
“Why are you married to her, though, since she clearly puts her ex and grown son before you and your marriage? She’s enabling their financial irresponsibility, and that will never change,” one user commented.
“This has been going on for more than five years. There is no reason for the ex or the son to change their patterns because she’s enabling it,” another wrote.
“Wife is supporting two fully capable adults who find it easier to get handouts than work a steady job or make reasonable decisions about spending. It appears she will continue to do this unless she’s shown real-world consequences,” someone else shared.