A woman on Reddit was slammed after confessing she is contemplating asking a friend to return her expensive baby shower gift following a pregnancy loss.
In her post on the forum, the woman explained she gave a $400 baby shower gift to her husband’s “long-term family friend” Jen, who she doesn’t consider a personal friend but is “friendly” with.
Content warning: pregnancy loss
“When Jen had her first kid my husband purchased a fairly expensive item off of her baby shower registry as a gift (around $200-$300 if I recall correctly). I had no issue with the gift or how much he spent, it was a nice item to gift her and we were excited for her to grow her family with her then-boyfriend now husband,” the woman wrote.
“Fast forward a few years, Jen and her husband are high earners (both making over 6 figures). Jen announced she was pregnant again very early along and sent my husband her baby shower registry with her announcement text which was full of high priced items,” she continued.
The woman felt it was “strange” for Jen to use another registry as she “should still have most of the items from her first kid,” but she and her husband bought a gift off the list nonetheless.
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A few weeks after the baby shower, Jen “had a traumatic miscarriage.”
“I won’t get into the details but she was devastated and the cause of the loss likely means she won’t be able to carry future pregnancies to term. It’s incredibly sad and while I’m not close with Jen my heart hurt for her,” the woman wrote.
Now, months later, the woman is “unsure” how to “navigate” the gift situation, as she regrets spending $400 and would ideally like to return the present.
“Asking her to return the gift seems cruel, like adding a chore to her grief, and it’s probably past the return window anyway. I’m also not sure if she’s going to keep trying to have more kids (very risky for the baby and herself) and it seems incredibly insensitive to ask, plus she may not have decided yet. Asking her to pay us back for it also seems very cruel. My husband and I are also decently high earners but $400 is still a lot of money,” she explained.
The woman added that if it’s not possible to return the gift to the store she bought it from, she’d “at least like to gift it to someone else who can use it.”
“However, this is such a sensitive subject and we don’t want to pressure her if she’s not ready to discuss it,” she concluded.
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In the comments section, Reddit users roasted the woman, with many suggesting she cut her losses.
“It was a gift. It shouldn’t come with terms and conditions. You gave it away. It’s gone,” one person wrote.
“Let it go. If $400 was a stretch, then you should have picked a less expensive gift. Why did Jen even have another baby shower, anyway. She already has a kid, that means she should have most of the stuff she needed, except for things that get used up, like diapers and such. But you did buy the expensive whatever. You gave it, and it’s gone, and it would be tacky as hell to ask for it back,” another commented.
“She’s just lost her baby and her fertility. Don’t kick someone when they’re down. When she’s ready, she will probably sell your gift and use the money for something else, hopefully something that brings her joy. You decided to spend a lot of money on a gift. Maybe give less in the future if you are going to feel resentful later. But do NOT add to this woman’s pain so you can get your money back. That’s monstrous,” someone else weighed in.