A woman says she’s been disinvited from her cousin’s wedding after she declined to be a bridesmaid so she could attend her own college graduation instead. Her decision to prioritize her own once-in-a-lifetime event sparked a family feud, and now her parents say they will no longer attend the nuptials either.
On Reddit, the woman explained her cousin, who she’s “not super close” with, is having a destination wedding in Puerto Rico next year — the very same week as the woman’s college graduation — and asked her to be in her bridal party.
Though it was a tough decision, the woman declined her cousin’s invitation to be a bridesmaid so she could attend her college graduation festivities instead. She also told the bride that she probably wouldn’t “have the bandwidth to help her with all the bridesmaid duties leading up to the wedding” anyway.
“I could still attend the actual ceremony since it’s the day after my graduation, but I just wouldn’t be able to arrive before then,” she wrote.
Her cousin “got very upset and basically told me I’m being selfish for putting my wants over our family and threaten[ed] to not invite me to the wedding.” Declining the bridesmaid role also upset the woman’s “entire extended family,” and many of her family members suggested she apologize to the bride.
Her aunt, i.e. the bride’s mother, even told her to “skip graduation all together [sic] since they will just mail me the diploma if I can’t attend.”
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“My parents were not very happy with what my aunt said and now they’re having an argument with her and also said they would not attend the wedding either. I didn’t mean for it to get to this and now my grandparents are also getting involved,” she continued, revealing her grandmother offered to pay for her flight to Puerto Rico if she agreed to be a bridesmaid.
“It really hurt because I’ve already made peace with the fact that she isn’t coming to my graduation since she can’t afford the extra plane ticket to fly from home to my college and then to PR, and the wedding is more important (which I 100% understand) but now it just feels like she doesn’t even care,” the woman wrote.
“I know it may sound trivial, but I didn’t have a high school graduation due to the pandemic, and my entire first year was online, so I have been looking forward to the graduation festivities for the past few years,” she added.
In the comments section, Reddit users left supportive notes for the soon-to-be college grad.
“College graduation is far more important than a wedding. OP [original poster] accomplished something and deserves a big party and for the family to be there over a silly wedding,” one user wrote.
“College graduation is just as big a deal as a wedding. And it’s your life, not your cousin’s. You have every right to be there for your big life event,” another person commented.
“Your cousin is being selfish. Both are exciting life milestones, but one is yours, and the other is not. Put yourself first. You guys aren’t even close, so I’m puzzled as to why she’s so adamant for you to be in her wedding party to the extent that she’d not invite you at all if you were merely a guest. The main character syndrome seems strong in this one,” someone else weighed in.